Not Your Typical Wedding Love Letter

Marriage #2 to husband #1!

Two weekends ago I got married for the second time to the same man, my dear Roberto. Honestly it was an amazing love story. Not just a love story between him and I, but a love story of me and the amazing people who joined us on that day.

This is a love letter to those people...

As I have grown older, I have found myself ruminating on love more and more. It is something I reflect upon quite frequently, love in its many forms, the way we love different people and different relationships and how love and memory can be so intertwined. Roberto and I were officially married last July in my hometown in Northeast Pennsylvania in Wilkes-Barre, PA. It was a very sudden wedding, I like to say that it was a shotgun wedding without the baby. My parents were so thrilled to find out that some guy was willing to marry their crazy daughter that they threw together a wedding less than two months after my engagement. They invited 100 of their neighbors (mostly other Bengali folk) and boom I was MARRIED.

Yes, it was cray-cray, I just wanted an excuse to use the word cray-cray

It was a fun weekend, an absolutely insane one, but fun. The problem was, almost none of my friends were there. About 5 good friends of mine managed to attend, but most other people I loved weren't there to spend my special moment with me. I wanted to share my love with my friends, and for me that meant, another wedding, well...two to be exact.

This meant that we were going to have a West Coast Wedding celebration (and an East Coast one...eventually). In May, Roberto surprised the crap out of me in Alamo Park  with an engagement where about 40-50 friends of ours came out of the woodwork to descend on me in a park in San Francisco to see Robert propose at the site of our first date weekend. I was shocked, I cried and wore red flannel (yup I was so surprised that my engagement pictures will forever be immortalized with me dressed as a scrub).

Apparently, Roberto likes scrubs

That was an amazing moment, and I wanted these friends to be part of our wedding celebration.

So lo and behold, two weeks ago we threw our West Coast Wedding Celebration. It was Naderto's wedding celebration, a horrible amalgam of our names clashed into one. We even hashtagged it (#NADERTO). This celebration was honestly one of the most beautiful, poignant and best memories I have ever made. Roberto built a beautiful alter with his bare hands (in the rain, I may add), and decorated it with beautiful red and yellow flowers. My mentor and West Coast mom, Mary and her equally awesome Dave graciously offered up their home for the event, even though Mary's eyes widened when I told her 150 people had RSVP'd. Countless friends offered to help set up, bring food and drinks and join me with so much excitement on this day.

Our alter, made by the groom

And the day of the celebration, it rained. It was gray and windy, but almost everyone still showed up, yup, Mary was still stuck with about 150 people (sorry Mary!). We did a vows ceremony with our monsignor, Gabriel presiding over our words. Gabriel's wife, and my dear friend and twin, Maia, had basically wedding planned the entire event, we couldn't have celebrated our love without the love given to us by this amazing couple.

Us with Gabe and Maia. Members of the Salvadoran wives club with our lucky husbands ;-)

Everything from that day was possible due to the help of others, it took three of my girlfriends, Barnali, Sabiha and Preeti to help me put my sari on (I'm a failure as a brown girl, I cannot put a sari on my by myself for the life of me), and even my mother commented on how beautifully it was put on. And honestly, coming from a Desi mother, that means a lot.

My beautiful bouquet =) Photograph by Jennifer Davis

My bouquet was put together by Mary's daughter, Charlotte, and our breathtaking wedding photography was done by Mary's niece, Jennifer. Our celebration wouldn't have been possible without the contribution of all of these friends, and I will never forget what they did for me to make my day so special, ever. My friend and artist, Sabreena Haque of Ritual by Design did my stunning mendhi.

My beautiful mendhi by Ritual By Design

My friend Nadine, handmade truffle chocolates for dessert. My best friend Nwe not only got us appetizers from her local Burmese community, but had her boys help me out to fundraise at my wedding for my organization, NAPAWF (National Asian Pacific American Women's Forum), they went around with a box asking people for donations for this organization under our name.

With my NAPAWF sisters and my donation box

When I walked down the aisle, with Mary giving me away (yea girl POWER!), I couldn't even look at the crowd that was waiting for me. I was too overwhelmed by their love for me and Roberto, I was too overwhelmed by them coming out on a rainy day to be a part of this. During my vows, I laughed, cried and honestly forgot what I actually said (thankfully there's video), but was moved the entire time by having everyone there.

You know you have the best co-workers in the world when they come out to party for your wedding! My organization, CHAA (Community Health for Asian Americans)

My awesome SEAYL youth came out, because they are the most awesome youth ever

With my Black Young Dems! Co founded this group with some of these people 2 years ago, and look how far we've come =)

I'm not sure if everyone understood how significant this event was for me. Yes it was a celebration of love, but it was also for me, a celebration of my four years here in the Bay Area. I came here literally ONLY knowing Roberto, the guy I made this crazy move for. As I moved around our packed party, I mingled with the different people in organizations I've worked with, from different jobs, to political movements and groups. All of them were part of a transformative chapter of my life.  Each one of them shared a memory and experience with me, I honestly cannot believe that I experienced so much in these 4 years. My friendships and relationships are a testament to these lives I've lived in the West Coast.

After cheerful and tearful toasts, after dancing and drinking, after gifts and hugs, I know have this memory forever. It is a very important memory of love, the love I share with Roberto and the love I shared with each and every person who joined us. Thank you ALL, from the bottom of my heart.

I love you all, thank you to my my friends for loving us back!

PS. If you want to check out all of our wedding pictures by the wonderful Jennifer Davis, here they are!
Nadia and Roberto's Wedding Photos
Nadia and Roberto's Black and White Wedding Photos 

28 Years on this Planet

Woohoo, I'm 28!!

 
Last weekend was a celebration of just that, my 28th birthday. I intended on writing much sooner, but a few things came up. One, how do I follow up two emotional posts about a friend's passing, I mean really it's not so easy and it did take a lot out of me. Second, I was in Vegas for 4 days with spotty Internet service and um, party side-effects. Both are not conducive to blog writing, and to top it off, another party side effect was spending 2 days sick after coming back from Vegas. All in all, totally worth it though.

Soooo worth it!

I'm not sure about most people, but there are two big reflection points for me every year: New Years and my Birthday (and everyday, but you probably already knew that). When I think of my birthday last year (which was covered in a previous blog posting), I was surrounded with Bay Area friends, great food at a packed get together in my own backyard. It always amazes me to see how much life I lived in that year, from 27 to now. To sum up how I felt at 27, I include this picture...

I tend to use this picture a lot...

And my piece of advice at 27 was "I don't know shit. And when I think I do, I'm just fooling myself." Sage advice, funny how it'll most likely be relevant no matter how old I get.

But things have changed of course! I'm a year older! and wiser (perhaps?). What's funny is that a year ago I felt very immature and this year, I just feel old. Does that make any sense? I feel like my older friends are wanting to toss their laptops out the window when I make that statement. But I mean it, this past year of my life has been overwhelming and brimming with lesson after lesson. To the point where I feel like lessons are right-hooking me to oblivion. At this point last year I was hopelessly contemplating a career direction (while consulting at one part time gig only) and hoping to combine my love for art/poetry/photography into something that made sense.

Now I do have a full time job! Just recently I started working full time for a health and wellness organization in the East Bay that works with marginalized API communities called Community Health for Asian Americans (CHAA). I will be working as a Community Wellness Advocate for Youth, but this was after working as a part-time social media coordinator for the organization (you can check out the blog I started here). So I was using photography and writing to cover the work CHAA was doing, and also documenting the issues, lives and cultures of the communities we worked with. I am also now the South Asian Political Blogger for Hyphen Magazine, a super hip and super connected magazine that recently had George Takei on the cover.

George Takei is my internet God

It only took me 2 years to find a full time job again. It was a tough two years, one year on unemployment and another working two part time jobs with no benefits, and a constant splitting apart of the little focus I do have.  Man, that was tough (say "first world problems" and I will e-punch you in the face). The economy took a toll on so many people, including myself, and being in California was hard as well since I had left my entire network on the East Coast.

But here I am, not only with a social network, but a political network as well. I am serving on the boards of two Democratic organizations, on the East Bay Young Democrats and the Black Young Democrats of the East Bay. It's crazy, it's a lot of work, but I am learning so much about the political process. It's a good thing to know, who can figure where any of this will lead me one day (running for office? maybe? maaaaybe?), but regardless it's all  part of my 'process' right now.

See: My Process

Speaking of process, the next big (see: Huge) event in my life is Charlotte, NC. I was recently elected to be a delegate representing California's 13th Congressional district at the 2012 Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina this September 3rd. I actually came in as the third highest vote getter amongst 19 women who ran! It's nuts, I still can't believe I was elected, and as the event gets closer I find myself getting more and more excited and nervous. Will this be a life changing event? Will I do something embarrassing on National TV? Will I high-five Pres. Obama? Will I be tackled by the Secret Service? I DON'T KNOW, but I do think it'll be an amazing experience for sure. I am fundraising $1,200 to go to the convention ( hey broke homegirl is still working for the non profit world!). So if you want to help a brown, progressive, South Asian, Muslim, API, young, kick ass sista make it to convention, please click here to support. I will be forever grateful to you, and steal you an Obama sticker. Or you can just think of it as helping someone get further in the political field who actually has the interests of marginalized communities and human rights in the forefront of her efforts. Anything helps, even 10 bucks adds up!

Yay, help get Nadia to Convention!

So here goes another year. Another huge event (convention), more fundraising (see above), and having more life changing, heart wrenching and mind expanding experiences. In the past year I attended so many political and human rights events as I looked to empower myself and my community. I went to Vietnam and had one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I was able to advocate on Capital Hill both in DC and Sacramento with NAPAWF. I did another year of the South Asian Vagina Monologues, and the wonderful experiences just never stopped unfolding.

And this was the year that I met Travis, a person who's passing still weighs upon my mind and heart. A year ago I didn't even know he existed, and in such a short time he came and went through my life. I also lost my friend Yvette, who attended my birthday last year and was the last person I dropped off that night. I lost my Barbara Nanu (great aunt), who took care of me and my sister when we were babies.

My dear Barbara Nanu, R.I.P

My 27th year was so bittersweet and beautiful- full of hope, new experiences and heartbreak. I am grateful for those experiences, though I do feel a but overwhelmed by it all.

But 28 will only bring more life trials and joys. I gotta stand proud and take it all in. Bring it on 28, I'm ready. And even if I'm not, I'm gonna give it one hell of a try.

My 'Bring It" pose