Yes We Can?

Tonight was a pretty big night for me. I got to see Obama live and in person...well not too personal, it was in a huge room with hundreds of other people. Still it was my first time seeing a president speak. I mean I've seen Bill Clinton a few times, but that was post-presidency. And if I ever saw George W. Bush, I probably would have lobbed a shoe at him and been tackled pronto.

Oh Bush, I still rage at you with my loafer

But back to Obama. I had mixed feelings about seeing him. When he first came into office, I remember watching his victory on TV in San Bernardino, CA with my father. I kept jumping up and down shrieking like a pre-teen boy band fan in excitement as his win became imminent. When Obama stood with his family and waved to the crowd after he won the election, my father, a 5o+ something Bangladeshi immigrant, started waving back at the TV. It still strikes me deep in my heart when I think of this moment, and what it meant to us.

Fast forward to tonight. Honestly part of me didn't feel so enthusiastic about attending. Although I was happy with many of the major reforms he was able to put forth, I was sorely disappointed about his stances (or lack thereof) on immigration issues, on the cuts to planned parenthood as the rights of women are in danger of being rolled back (particularly the rights of low income women) and how economic issues are being handled. Regardless, I still support him in a mopey way, so off to the Masonic Temple in San Francisco I went, along with my good friend Nwe Oo and my new friend Deborah Matthews.


Goapele, the neo-soul songstress from Oakland, performed before his speech and she was absolutely riveting. She sang Sam Cooke's " A Change is Gonna come" and it just sent chills down my back. The music in the auditorium before Goapele and after was funky. I was surprised to hear House of Pain and Montell Jordan, but hey, what other politician besides Obama can get away with playing that stuff?

Goapele being her usual breathtaking self

Oh and I got to shake Lietenant Governor and Former SF Mayor Gavin Newsom's hand, and I told him that I expected him to run for governor in four years. He laughed. The man looks like a ken doll and he's like 7 feet tall (at least to me he was).

Obama's speech was nice, I mean the guy speaks eloquently. What impacted me more than the speech was the way he admitted to the problems that were out there, and how more work needs to be done. He even jokingly called out the audience saying that he knew the "armchair political consultants" were out there. He pointed out the successes on health care reform, repealing "don't ask don't tell", and working to pull the economy out of recession. He did also admit to work that needs to be done to stop tax cuts to the wealthy (he included himself within this classificaton) and women's rights issues, among others.

We did...now what?

More than Obama himself, my attention was drawn to the crowd. It was very diverse, with faces of all colors, ages, fashion styles and yes, even economic backgrounds. I saw kids from YMCA programs attending and just a sea of colors around me. Yes it's San Francisco, but the variety of people that came out for a political event really made an impression on me. As I watched Obama speak, I looked at Nwe sitting beside me, who came to the US 5 years ago as a refugee. She was so excited to see him speak that you could just see the happiness radiating from her face when she listened to his words. The reaction, smiles and laughter of the crowd in support of our president was really what impressed me, and I hope that Mr. Obama saw the same spirit in the crowd that I did.

I'll end this entry with a quote of his from the night that I thought really rang true
"Everybody likes change in its abstract form, but change in the concrete is difficult"

It is hard Mr. President, but here's to hoping that there's more of it as your administration goes onto and hopefully beyond 2012.

Brown people STAND UP - Part 1

Last week I attended the SAALT Summit in Washington DC. SAALT is the acronym for South Asian Americans Leading Together, a group I affectionately describe as "the NAACP for Brown people". They do work from a social justice and civil rights framework and every two years they bring together South Asian activists, advocates and community members from all over the country for the summit.
I went to my first summit two years ago, when I worked as an advocate at Manavi, an NJ based organization that works to end violence against women in the South Asian community. This year however, I was representing myself and my blog Us Ordinary People, which I would be discussing at a panel session . This was my first time being a panelist at a conference so I was super excited.
The main theme at this years Summit was the 10 year anniversary of September 11 and what has changed in these 10 years. The issues that plagued the South Asian community when 9/11 hit are sadly the same issues today. Islamaphobia is rampant, and the recent shooting and deaths of two elderly Sikh men in Sacramento was one incident that highlighted this. Though the mood of the conference was friendly and unified, I sensed a somber air during the weekend. Issues regarding the rising number of deportations and the cutting down of labor rights added the sense of overwhelming odds for the movement as a whole. During my panel on community documenting, the need to document the stories of individuals and communities facing these issues was apparent. Alongside me in my panel were Dinu Ahmed and Moumita Zaman from Khadija's Caravan, an organization that provides photography workshop series for young Muslim youth in NYC, and Luna Ranjit from Aadikar, a Nepali human rights organization. All three of us were providing documentation in different ways, but the need was clear. If we did not provide the opportunity to tell these stories, then perhaps nobody would. I went to a few other workshops, but I must say that the highlight of my day was just lounging around with other activists. I made new friends, reconnected with people I knew before and I took a TON of pictures (as usual). I met the other co founder of NYTWA, Javaid Tariq, and we shared our love of photography and human rights. Seriously, with my hectic East coast trip, it was nice to just relax for a bit and actually connect with people, which I don't think always happens at conferences. I also loved listening to people tell me about their work, the passion behind what they do is apparent and it really pushes me to work towards my passions to help others as well.

The next day had some open circle discussions and roundtables with government agencies such as Homeland Security and the Department of Justice. I always love the open sessions at the Summit. It's really a chance to sort of kick back, sit in a circle and just share different perspectives. I attended an open space session on art due to my interest in photography. From radio hosts, filmmakers and playwrights, it was an awesome session where I was able to exchange e-mails and ideas with other artists. Afterward I attended the government roundtables, focusing on the ones relating to Immigration and Civil Rights Issues. I often wish that there was some way to work with the government instead of feeling like I am constantly fighting against government policies and budget cuts. I do feel that SAALT is taking the right steps to build those bridges between government and civic groups, this bridge building could be seen at the roundtables, as well as the next and final day of the summit, where summit attendees were able to advocate on capital hill at the house of representatives.

Article continued on next post...

Brown people STAND UP - Part 2

continued...

The final day of the summit was Advocacy Day, where summit participants and I had the opportunity to go to the offices of our elected officials and represent the interests of our communities. The day started with an troubling incident when some summit attendees and I came across members of the Sikh Coalition who were stopped and questioned by DC police for "suspicious activity". Many of those being questioned were lawyers, and some were wearing turbans. You can read about the incident on the Sikh Coalition blog. Luckily, once this incident was resolved, the rest of the day took a more positive turn.

The opening briefing started with an address by Congresswoman Judy Chu from California, the first Chinese American Woman to be elected to Congress. The briefing also included both community leaders and members who have faced and are facing the repercussions of 9/11. One particularly poignant moment occurred when the mother of a young Muslim man who was killed at ground zero spoke about her son, Mohammad Hamdani. Mohammad was 23 years old when he went to ground zero to help survivors after the planes hit. He was tragically killed when the towers came down. After the incident, officials and some media outlets pegged her son as a potential terrorist based solely on his Muslim background, Weeks later, his remains were confirmed and he was vindicated as a hero instead of being vilified as a terrorist. His mother, Talat Hamdani, started off with quiet tears, as any mother would after facing such a tragedy. Her tears came out again which she spoke highly of Congressman Keith Ellison, who mentioned Mohammads story during the infamous King hearings about the radicalization of Muslims in America. Ms. Hamdani also spoke of how her husband passed away just a few years after her son since he could no longer take the grief. This was a woman who lost almost everything due to 9/11, she was Muslim and American and her story is one that I wish everyone
would know. It was amazing to see her advocating on behalf of the memory of her son and for the families of September 11 victims. During this session, I also met some members of Desis Rising Up and Moving (DRUM) a membership led organization that works for the rights of working class South Asians in NYC. One member of DRUM was Shaheena Parvez whose son Shahawar Matin is serving a 30 year sentence for allegedly becoming involved in a terrorism plot in NYC. With a mix of broken English and Urdu ( which I vaguely understand) she told me briefly about her sons story. A Bangladeshi woman, who had also come along with DRUM, helped to translate for Shaheena. Shaheena told me to look up her son's story, she spoke of how agents had harassed her son and through entrapment had him arrested on terrorism charges. She told me "my son do nothing wrong". I took some photos with her along with Talat Hamdani, and it was heartbreaking yet uplifting to see these women, who had both lost sons to the effects of terrorism and the "fight" against terrorism come together and support each other at the Summit. Moments like these were truly the most valuable experiences for me that weekend.
After the briefings, it was off to Capitol Hill to get our advocacy on. I was assigned as the facilitator for my group, which in itself was very exciting, since I've never facilitated any congressional visits prior to this! I was able to go to the Congressional office of Rep. Zoe Lofgren of California and Rep. Keith Ellison (!) of Minnesota. Congressman Keith Ellison is the first Muslim to be elected to Congress and is one of my congressional heroes. During the King hearings, Ellison stood up to the institutionalized Islamaphobia presented at the session and at one point his voice even broke when he was on the Congressional floor as he responded to the hearings. My advocacy group and I met with Congressional staff members of each Representative and expressed our group concerns with profiling, anti bullying legislation and anti immigrant policies that are having a negative impact on our communities.

As the day came to a close, I bid a tired farewell to my fellow summit attendees, took off my heels and walked barefoot through the cherry blossom petals in front of the Capital Hill Lawn. It was a warm and beautiful day, with tourists mulling about and cherry blossoms in full bloom. I felt grateful to have made amazing connections during the summit and I felt comforted to know that I am part of a network that can and is making this country a better place. There are so many challenges ahead, but it is nice to know that I will be facing these challenges with my friends and colleagues by my side.

Friends are family you pick

I remember the day I officially moved from New Jersey to California. I barely made my flight, I was so late in fact, that I wasn't even allowed to check in my luggage and had to run onto the plane. As the plane pulled away from Newark airport, and as New Jersey grew exponentially further and further away, I burst out crying. I just couldn't stop. Roberto was sitting next to me and was dumbfounded. I'm sure he was thinking that he was bringing a certifiable nut with him back to the Bay Area (and he was absolutely right). Anyways, I bring up this memory of mine to relay the reasons behind my tears. I of course was lamenting the fact that I was leaving behind my family on the opposite course, but I also shed tears for all of the friends and the amazing life I had on the East Coast. I was excited and happy to follow my dreams of having an adventure in San Francisco, but I was heartbroken as well thinking of all I was leaving behind. Plus I seriously had the most kick-ass goodbye party EVER.

evidence of kick-ass good-bye partaaay

My friends were the reason I had this amazing life, and as I am currently back in the East Coast running around like a crazed hyperactive chicken as I travel to four states due to conferences, job interviews and visiting my family (both biological and adopted), I am still amazed at how well my friends take care of me. It's really something special when a person opens their home to you, hands you an extra key and tells you to come and go as you please. Or when a friend takes me out for wine and gourmet lamb burgers after an 11 hours intense interview process just to help me relax. Or drives me and a carload full of people to another state to enjoy an all night spa. Or let me crash at their place at 4am because I'm obsessed with how comfortable their sisters bed is (don't worry said sister is out of country). And when I get taken to a Korean BBQ buffet and am not allowed to touch the bill. Or when a family lets me crash on their couch for as many nights as I want, just as they did for two years (long story, for a future post one day). I just feel continuously blessed and overwhelmed by the love shown to me, It really makes me feel like extending my arms like Stretch Armstrong to envelope my buddies in a huge super bear hug.

GROUP HUG!

And boy have I been getting FED. Back in California, I'm on the unemployment diet, which usually consists of starvation, Ramen noodles, and coffee (oh and occasionally pasta). But HERE my god, I've been taken out, been given home cooked meals and been able to express my gluttonous self to the fullest. Yes it's great but I think I will be needing to buy spanx soon to fit into my clothes for my conference. But I do I enjoy all of this "soul" food, and getting fattened up on some love.

my "I need Spanx" photo

The point is that I feel super duper lucky. I'm not writing this post to brag, I just want to express my gratitude for having these amazing people in my life. I remember that in high school, the highlight of my life was going grocery shopping with my mother on Saturdays. Yes, that was the extent of my kickin social life back then. I remember taking pictures of people I sorta kinda hung out with in class just so I could look like I had real friends. But now I have REAL friends, as opposed to the imaginary ones, and that's probably why I can't stop taking pictures. (imaginary friends also don't photograph as well). Sometimes I still get shocked that people actually want to hang out with me. Funny how that doesn't get old.

So I just want to say to my buddies that YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME. Just like I wrote in my title "Friends are like family you pick" and I am so glad that I got to pick you dudes and dudettes. I also need to include my sister who happens to be my family and friend. If I were picking out a dodgeball team, she'd be my first choice for sure.

I'm sure some of you reading my blog will see this, so you should just know that I love you all to ooey gooey pieces, and to my friends who pretend to read my blog, I love you guys too =D.

Peace from NYC, off to Washington DC to spend some fun times with my dear friend Tom and other eclectic mixes of characters. Can't wait!!

A Creative Process...

Yesterday was the 100th anniversary of International Women's Day, and in honor of this day, I was planning on writing this awesome, knock-your-socks off post about women and awesomeness and fighting the good fight and...

yea well I'm sick ....I've been sick since Friday and these coughing fits just won't quit.

So you have this post instead. This past weekend was the culmination of an absolutely amazing and inspiring experience for me. It was my first time performing at Yoni Ki Baat, which is the South Asian Vagina Monologues. After practicing for two months, I got on stage, along with a bevy of diverse, creative and wonderful women to express our unique monologues and poems to our audience in the Mission District of San Francisco.

There are so many emotions involved in this for me. For one, I remember coming to San Francisco as a tourist almost two years ago,

(Me being a tourist in San Francisco)

running around the Mission Dolores and the Castro clicking away with my camera since I pretty much figured I wouldn't be coming back to the Bay Area anytime soon, if ever. And now here I was performing IN the Mission. Funny where life takes you, from tourist to local performer, I definitely didn't see THAT coming.

Back to the show though. When I first submitted my poem "Mother May I" to Yoni Ki Baat, I had no idea what to expect. I was stoked to get picked, but I still had no idea what I was getting into. As I came to the first rehearsal, I felt sorta weird. I vaguely knew one person, and I had no idea if I would be totally out of place here. Although I'm loud and extroverted, I'm not a seasoned stage performer by any means, and yea I was very nervous.

From that first nervous day, so many things have changed. The women I met became my friends and my teachers, as they gave me tips on how to improve my performance, use my stage space and SLOW DOWN (which I still can't say has quite happened). There were times when I felt totally lost, thinking "wow I can't do this, many of these woman just GET it". Yet the comfort came came, as the pieces were memorized, and there were times when I saw some of the vulnerabilities and strengths of my fellow performers. I think that helped, and it also made me feel closer to them and to the pieces we were putting out there for the world to see.

The amazing thing is, each and every one of the pieces in the show was special to me. It was exciting to see words on paper transform into an actual performance, with feeling and expression. It was a pretty cool process to see how each woman made their piece their own, whether they had written them or not. Every performance was a journey, and I was glad to have been a witness to that journey.

Most of the YKB women are not professional performers. Roberto mentioned how so many of the performers looked completely at home on stage. I told him it was because of practice, practice, practice. The truth is, these women came from very diverse backgrounds. From a Harvard trained doctor who works at a community health center using her experience working with families to inspire a piece on delivering babies, to a high school teacher, a lawyer, an environmental activist, a recording artist/electronic musician, a scientist and so much more. All of these women came together to become fast friends, performers and yes, sisters to put on Yoni Ki Baat.

This experience has certainly made me follow through with my own creative process. Following through with a performance in front of 200+ crowds was quite an undertaking. I even cried after my performance, when all of us took the stage after the final show. It was all such a rush, and it was overwhelming to just give your all to a performance and have it be over. Roberto held me as I blubbered like a baby, they were tears of joy to be sure, and grateful tears to have have the opportunity to be a part of this.

This blog is also part of my creative process, which is continuing, changing, evolving (I hope). I just started another project, which is sort of my baby right now, it's a new photo essay blog called (Extra)Ordinary People at usordinarypeople.blogspot.com. I have also joined a sort of "women's circle" of writers, to inspire each other and push each other to continue the creative process even when we don't feel like it (writing is truly a discipline that needs to be cultivated and tended to!)

So I am still in this process, Yoni Ki Baat was a fantastic part of it, and I can only hope for more amazing ventures and experiences in my future.

Love you ladies, Yonis forever!

I remember...

Many magazines or newspapers publish "In Memoriam" articles at the end of the year, commemorating the lives of celebrities and public figures who have passed on. Well 2011 is a month in, but I wanted to write a post to just...remember people. In the past year, some people I have known left the world in very sudden ways. Most of them were young and around my age which only added to the shock factor. Maybe it's due to the overwhelming stress I have had in my life in the past few months, but recently I have had delayed reactions when I found out about people I know passing on. It's like I hear the news and feel nothing, but days later I find myself crying randomly, or getting up at night and crying. Don't know if that's normal, but I suppose that is how my mind is handling grief at the moment.

In spring of 2010, my friend Ying passed on during vacation in the Bahamas. Ying was a college friend who begged me to join a Ms. Asia Pageant, so they could have more brown girls (which I consequently won, thanks Ying!). I also remember her dressing up as a hotdog at the Rutgers University Hot Dog Day. She made an awesome hot dog. I guess that is how I will always remember her, as an energetic little Asian girl who was a great leader and just a vibrant ball of energy.

Another girl I knew not as closely, but she was an enthusiastic volunteer when I worked at the Center For South Asia Studies at UC Berkeley. She passed in a plane crash. It was again, very sudden and she was very young, younger than me. It is just surreal to see someone at work, and then knowing that they are just gone, like dust.

After this I found found out that an awesome friend I knew in college, Kanishka Paul, passed away from a heart attack. He was young and in medical school. He had been one
of the founders and first presidents of the Bengali Students Association at Rutgers, and was there to support me when I took on a leadership role within BSA. I remember begging him to be in the fashion show, and he enthusiastically obliged, playing the part of a green card holder who gets the girl =). And he was always a great sport when I pulled him into interactive BSA meetings. The world lost a really great and humble guy.

Another girl I knew named Soraya passed away recently in Thailand. I knew her through other friends in capoeira here in Berkeley. She was a beautiful girl with great energy. It was again, shocking, as with the others, to hear of her passing. She was so healthy and active. It's always hard when anyone passes away, but when young, healthy people are suddenly gone, it's just very hard to wrap my mind around.

Most recently, a relative I loved dearly, my uncle, Hamid Choudhury passed away. If you look at my previous postings, you will come across one about my great uncle (my nana) Masood Choudhury passing on. Hamid was his son. Hamid's death was very shocking to me. I was worried about his health especially after his father passed. I remember holding his hand so tightly during his father's funeral, so that I could be there for him. That was the last time I saw him. We would talk on facebook and send some messages back and forth. I feel guilty that I didn't reach out to him more, I didn't know that he would leave so soon. But I guess no one ever really does, and maybe in some ways many of us have regrets when we lose someone. Hamid was such an incredibly intelligent and funny person. I loved talking to him because we were both total science nerds. We would spend hours talking about black holes and time travel. He was surprised to find a young girl so interested in this "nerdy" stuff. He would lend me books on string theory that I would always forget to return. I asked his sister to give me his books. I feel that by reading them, with every word, I will remember him. I love to read and books are so precious to me. I will keep his books forever and through his love for science, for theories and knowledge, I will keep his memory alive.

I remember hanging out with him and his father, my nana, in their Harlem apartment. I always had fun with the both of them. Lots of laughs, good food, political talks and constantly having to shout things at nana repeatedly since his hearing was going. In my heart, there is a room, where they both will stay, me and them, together in that apartment talking and enjoying ourselves. And they will be there forever, where I can visit them whenever I want.

Maybe that's just how it is, in my head they are alive and vibrant, and this is my way of dealing with it. Sorry for making this post depressing, but more than anything it was just my little way to relay my memories of these people. Maybe it's more for me, but thanks for reading. I'll have more uplifting posts in the future, I promise. But my blog will go as life goes, with the ups and downs.

I'll have what they're having...

I often wonder what will define my generation. We are past the Generation X'ers. Many of them have homes, young kids, the American dream, whatever that means or meant.

However I believe that the American dream is a bit more complex for my peer group. As soon as we headed out of college to brave the adult world we were hit with the worst recession since the Hoover administration. Transitioning out of college is a challenge to begin with and now this. Not only are jobs hard to come by, but to even gain admission into graduate schools have gotten exponentially competitive, not to mention that the government continues to cut the budget for education, making the possibility of continuing education less and less accessible to so many (including myself). My generation has seen the dreams of home ownership and job success, two cornerstones of the so-called American dream basically combust. So where do we look? What possibilities are there? I remember back in history class hearing something about how depressions often brought with it great movements in creativity. Not sure if this is true, but it sort of makes sense to me.

So when the security of an immediate entry level job is taken away from us, then what? What if we just can't get into the law schools, the med schools, the clown schools? I love the idea of security and all...but there is that romanticism, the danger the rush of just going for it. Your dreams, your passions, regardless of the uncertainties.

So this is what inspires me, those who stick their necks out there to express themselves and do it boldly. Open to the possibility of not making it, but taking that leap anyways. It inspires me to keep faith in myself, and my own dreams. When I feel down, I look at the blogs, the paintings, the businesses, the writings of my friends and I just feel so INSPIRED by this outpouring of creativity and expression. Maybe you can be inspired too....

Shareen Sarwar - Vintage Mavens

I remember getting a Facebook Message from one of my best friends since childhood about how she was beginning a new endeavor, to sell vintage clothes and if I could support her. In the message, you could sense her excitement and yes, anxiety over her new project. She had the dream, she had a plan and she was going for it. This is a girl, who like me, comes from a Bangladeshi background, a background that loves doctors, lawyers, engineers and usually little else. I remember Shareen always having the most killer fashion sense even back in middle school, when most of us were going through our uber dorky phases. She went to college for International Relations, but you just can't keep a great fashionista away from her true love. As soon as she graduated, she worked tirelessly to intern for high end fashion magazines, running around NYC looking fabulous doing interviews and shopping her portfolio. Then off to Miami she went, chasing her dreams (and getting married in the process to a renaissance man who takes the amazing fashion photos on her blog/store). And now, less than a year after she sent me her excited, uncertain message, her blog and store are both a success. It's amazing to see the coverage she gets for her site and the quality of her store. The passion is obvious, there mucho hard work involved, but it is a labor of love, that much is clear to me (or anyone else who checks out the site). I'm a proud customer, but also an inspired friend. I might not open a vintage store, but I know that I at least have an great example set in front of me to pursue my own passion!
www.vintagemavens.com

Jaynelle St. Jean - pieTISSERIE

I have another friend, Jaynelle who worked in a law firm for a couple years after graduating from college. Years after this, she took on the reins of starting her own pie making business. I remember when I first heard about her, about this girl that made amazing handmade pies on her own and sold them around the Bay Area. I had the unique opportunity to help her out one day, and let me tell you, I was beat. Making pie after pie after pie (after pie) with fresh ingredients is exhausting. Yet I could see her love for what she does just resonate. Starting a business is not an easy thing to do, by any means, but after helping her fill the orders of countless Christmas pie orders, I must say that I was so very inspired by a local piemaker who is following her dreams!

http://www.facebook.com/pietisserie

Jenny Ton and Julia Rhee - Retrofit Republic

Another team I have to mention is the driving force behind Retrofit Republic, Jenny and Julia. Retrofit Republic sells specially hand selected vintage clothing along with an awesome and well written fashion blog. I stumbled upon the blog through another friend. After reading an article I really liked, I looked up the author bios, and was amazed to discover that the two minds behind it were exactly my age. Imagine my surprise when I ran into both of them while out in Oakland, turns out we had the same mutual friends! Needless to say, I was already a huge fan and pretty stoked to meet these "fashion celebrities" and just really admired the passion and love they showed towards their work.
www.retrofitrepublic.com

I am inspired by many different people in my life. I think that I am very lucky when it comes to this. There are so many other people I can write about and how they have inspired different parts of my life. I chose to describe the people above mainly because 1.) they are all around my age 2.) they had the cohones to go after what they wanted 3.) they are stunning, diverse women that totally kick ass, and 4.) look how damn HAPPY they look!!!

As for me, I feel like a forest after a forest fire, burned out but fertile for new growth (and no I'm not referring to my biological clock). What is my passion? I know that I want to help people, make the world a better place and be a social justice warrior. Oh yea and get paid for it...you know how it is ;-)